Клуб Йойокеров

And what’s more, he just takes everything for granted.

Just like the time we went to the zoo and I took him to see a gorilla, (coincidentally, nothing to do with the Zingzillas) and I wowed and watched the magnificent beast sit and stare at us. My son was unmoved. So what? It’s there. Even when I spelt out how rare they are, how endangered they are and how it is quite unusual to see one in this country in the flesh, he had no context of this whatsoever.

For him, just like the gorilla, technology is there. Full stop. And he just doesn’t get the wonder of it.

So it meant I had to tell him about the time when there were no computers, no mobile phones with Dora The Explorer games on to play with, no dishwashers, no electric toothbrushes, no remote control cars, no Sky+ and no DVDs.

“What was there, then?” he asked.

I started to feel really old by this point. Being a child of the ’70s and ’80s, I remember telling someone I would meet them somewhere and would not be able to cancel at the last minute if they’d already left because there were no mobiles. I recall being on washing and wiping up duty with my sister after tea because there were no dishwashers. I even know the hardship of having to scrub my own teeth, for goodness sake, because there weren’t electric toothbrushes.

Then I felt really sad he would never know the joy of recording Top Of The Pops off the TV with a video recorder or how hard it was to tape the charts off the radio, when you’d sit there on a Sunday night with your finger hovered over the stop button praying you’d get to hit it before the DJ came in with some waffle.

Then I felt happy he won’t have to go through the torment of being stood up with no excuse because people usually have the decency these days to text a good lie if they’re not going to turn up.

What on earth will life be like for him in the future? What technological advancements will he see in his lifetime which will make him stop and think “I can’t believe our mobile phones used to be so enormous” when I am still amazed at how small they are compared to the ’90s even.

I wonder what he’ll tell his kids. Can you believe we used to eat food? Now we just take a pill and we’re full.

The technology thing opened a can of worms, I can tell you.

By now my son’s eyes had glazed over. And then do you know what he did?

He went off, found a piece of elastic (from his pants unfortunately), attached it to a pine cone and used it as a yo-yo for hours.

Kids, they don’t know they’re born, do they?